Sunday, November 19, 2006

Gridblog: Seize the Day

Okay, Tim, so I'm a little late on this - it's not Friday - but hopefully it's a better late than never sort of thing...you can't scare me away that easy.

Seizing the Day. Living in death's light. Living today...and loving it.

I wish I could say that this is where I live. That each day is lived in such a way that I would be satisfied if it were my last but I'm not, at least not as completely as I would like to.

I think of my grandma. Every time I see her, she talks to me about being thankful to live another day. After all she's been through in the last several years of her life, she realizes that each day is a gift from God.

I struggle with that right now. Whether it's that life just seems so hard or just so far from what I'd hoped it would be, I'm not living with near the God-focused contenment I wish that I could. Right now, life feels like a day by day, step by step trudge, an uphill battle with boots that are too big, carrying a load far beyond my strength...and so each day I come to Jesus and pray that he'll sustain me, knowing in my head, if not my heart, that He is far more able than I could ever ask of imagine.

See, here's the thing. As much as it's a struggle, I'm still struggling. I'm still looking to Him and trying to focus on the things that I'm thankful for. A while back I posted about being thankful. Right now, that's how I work to live today. Being thankful for all things, the big and the small. Each night, I make a list of the things I'm thankful for. I have a friend who asks me often, holding me accountable to living a life of thanksgiving. At the end of my life, when all is said and done, at the very least, I want to be known as someone who is thankful.

Right now, I think if I'm intentionally thankful, the rest of it will come...the contentment, the strength, the joy and peace that only God can bring. Only by living my life in His shadow will I ever truly be ready to live life in death's shadow...and be able to seize the day.

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